Well, here I am at 2:37 a.m., waiting for DH to finish restroom duties. Yes, I am so lucky that he is becoming so independent, yet, for many people this is so foreign. To be so intimately tied to someone else's "activities of daily living" is a aspect of caregiving that parents of young children and those caring for the elderly are familiar with.
When you are a caregiver, like me, at age 51, continuing a caregiving role changes the look of my Empty Nest. Yes, the last daughter went off to college! My heart has felt loss and elation at the same time. What do you call it when you finally sleep at night stop wondering "What time will they be in?" and listening for the door to open and re-locked? What do you call it when you wake in the morning and wish to have the demands of your active teens driving your plans for the day? (Well, you actually have a full day to plan with your own needs in mind!)This is lonely at first, until you do it a few days, and then it becomes great. You actually remember who you were before kids. You start getting into that old set...only better, wiser and hopefully with a few more resources.
Just when you are begining to thrive...you get the message..."Guess what, I'm coming home next weekend!" I was even shocked at myself when my first thought was, yes, but I was planning to .... But then, a Sunomi of excitment rushes in, and I start thinking... clean, get food in the house, prepare, activities...and the anticipation busyness takes over!
It's funny that you don't forget how to go back into parenting mode. Only this time it is different, because your weekend visitor is now a young adult, taking charge of their world, and that holds lots of new opportunities for growth and insight for you as an Empty Nester.
Well, back to caregiving on different levels. The disabled spouse is hopefully back sound asleep, so I can return to my comfy bed and sleep as well. I'm going to need it to face the challenges of tomorow...in this "Brave New World." Come visit me at my cyber home away from home: www.emptynesterscloset.com.
1 comment:
Barbara,
I think you have a very unique niche here! You are really on to something, and I want to encourage you to go with this! I have enjoyed your posts so far, keep up the great work! Your writing is refreshingly honest, with a personal touch...
With Love and Friendship,
~Jenn
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